Jesse Bruce on his past challenges and current motivation by Adam Kwitko

Jesse Bruce has been a constant on Eastern Canada obstacle course racing podiums since 2014. His Alpha Obstacle Training facility is a fixture in the Toronto OCR community where he trains and motivates athletes of all levels. However, despite Jesse’s recent success, he had to overcome a challenging past to become the inspiration he is today. We caught up with Jesse Bruce to uncover the life obstacles he conquered, his charitable endeavors and how he stays motivated.

AK: You often post about the challenges you encountered up to this point in your life including addiction, drug dealing and stints in prison. What is your story prior to obstacle course racing?

JB: Like many young people out there I struggled with an extremely low self-esteem. The feelings of not fitting in, being inferior, smaller, weaker, not liked, not good enough took a toll on me I guess. I found a comfort in alcohol and drugs at a pretty young age. It made me feel like a different person but it would be the thing that eventually destroyed me and my family. I had extremely severe depression and that darkness followed me everywhere I went and drugs and alcohol was the only way I knew how to cope. The more it hurt the more I coped with dope and drinking and it was a downward spiral to the lowest points of my life.

I didn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, I was so skinny you could see every bone in my body, I would avoid looking at myself in the mirror at all costs, I couldn’t talk to my parents or brothers, I was kicked out of school, not good at anything, the darkness would turn to anger and violence when I drank. I lost a lot of friends and the respect of the people I cared about the most. I didn’t like one thing about me and wanted to die. Every day I would get on my knees and ask God to take my life instead of someone else’s who didn’t deserve it, I would see someone suffering with cancer and say to God I deserve that, give me that instead of them, why is that child or mother sick and not me I deserve that.

There is not a prison cell dark enough in this country to the darkness in my head and it breaks my heart to know that there is so many young people living with it I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The choices I made lead me to feeling that way and there is young people out there who live with it and didn’t choose it. I share my story and how I lived and felt because it’s my responsibility and I always say even if one person gets something from it than it’s worth sharing.

AK: How did you manage to turn your life around?

JB: Lifting weights was a starting point to turning my life around. There were weights in jails when I was young and I think I probably put on about 20 lbs of muscle and it was finally one thing that made me feel good about myself. I was consistent and worked hard and my body changed. When I got out I took friends with me to the gym and their bodies changed. I wanted to be a trainer to help people change their lives and eventually 8 years later after a lot of up and downs got into college.

I still struggled but almost 5 years ago on August 8th I to quit drinking and using. Nothing will ever change, I will continue to ruin relationships and be filled with darkness, the only thing different this time was that I was going to try harder than ever before and do everything I could to get it.

AK: What advice would you give to individuals in a similar situation?

JB: My advice for young people is we have to take matters into our own hands. Yeah i felt like crap and wanted to die. I didn’t do anything to improve my life so why would I be walking around smiling? Why would I feel good when I didn’t do anything to make my life better. Each and every single positive decision I make today will make me feel better. There are a lot of things holding us down, a lot of external forces we can’t control, this life is hard so we have to continually do things to add “happiness” into our lives.

For me, the biggest driver into improving my own life is the fact that I can maybe help someone else struggling with what I did or something else. I will never forget those feelings of hopelessness, sadness, guilt, and despair. It squeezes you to the point you can’t even breath and you want to scream but you can’t, you want to cry but you can’t, you curl up and you suffer but you can help that person, you can be a light in someone else’s life but we have to learn to love ourselves first.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter how dark it seems, there is nothing that we can’t get over eventually, and nothing that time can not heal. There are people who care about you and know what you’re going through and there’s people out there you don’t even know you can help.

A K: What was your athletic background leading up to obstacle course racing?

JB: I didn’t really have one, I’ve always been good at any sport and then got away from everything. I got into lifting weights and got pretty strong in a 7 month jail bit (laughs) and then when I got into University at 29 they had a cross country team that I thought I’d try out for for the hell of it and I made it. I didn’t know that team would change my life and was the seed that lead to me starting my first company “Time For War Fitness”. (sidenote: Lindsay Webster was on that cross country team).

AK: What lead to your desire to start an obstacle course training specific gym?

JB: For me, fitness and lifting weights changed my body which finally gave me something to have some confidence about. That cross country team with good friends that trained together and conquered challenging competitive races together made me feel like I was a part of something after never being part of anything like that. I wanted to give that feeling to people but didn’t know how until I did my first obstacle course (Warrior Dash) and saw exactly what we still see today. A community of positive, encouraging, incredible people conquering a mountain. I love what it represents too. Those obstacles represent more that the physical beings they are. They represent everything we’ve struggled with, still fight today, and what we’ll face in the future and we conquer them as a family and get stronger because of them.

AK: What charities are you involved with?

JB: I stick with Covenant House, as much as diseases like Cancer is close to my heart and took my mother, I feel struggling, at risk, heart broken youth don’t get enough attention and need help, support, and guidance. I know my own Mom would say that too.

AK: In 2015, you won the For Those Who Could OCR Humanitarian Award at the OCR World Championships pre-race dinner for your charitable work with The Covenant House. How does it feel to have your efforts recognized at such a well-respected event?

JB: It was cool to be recognized like that and the fact people on my own team nominated me and then the support I got after that. But realistically I got too much credit for that. My team did so much and jumped all over everything I did. I wanted to do a Christmas campaign and give a few kids a Christmas last year and my goal was to raise $2000 by Christmas. everyone jumped on it and shared it and we raised $7000 in just a few days and we were able to do something special for a lot of youth. It’s because of them that anything is possible and what makes the Alpha Army what it is.

AK: How do you stay motivated in your personal, professional, athletic and philanthropic pursuits?

JB: For me when i get sluggish or lazy I just think of how it used to feel at my worse. I think about the people out there who feel like that now, and I think that if I keep pushing and working I ca
n do something to help and inspire or motivate them. I wasted so much of my life I have some time to make up for. Often I think about my Mom and how I want to represent her and I’m lucky I have solid brothers and my Dad too. The Alpha Army motivates me greatly as well. It’s nice to know a bunch of bad asses who are down for doing crazy things together. I have been blessed and given an opportunity so I do it and try to do my best at it.

Photo Credit: BattleFrog, Spartan Race, Alpha OT, 3-Seconds

By : Adam Kwitko | Est un journaliste sportif d’endurance et un professionnel de la gestion de courses. Il est un coureur d’OCR, de piste et fervent défenseur des OCR et des courses à plis longues distances. Il consomme également de grandes quantités de miel et de sirop d’érable